Raising A Winchester
by AnastaziaDanielle
Summary: Sam's wife leaves him to raise his son alone - with help from Dean, of course! AU
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Raising A Winchester

Prologue

Sam sucked in a shaky breath and sank to the cement floor in the hot, dark garage attached to the house he shared with his wife. The house sat on a quiet street in a rural neighborhood surrounded by trees. It had a wraparound porch with a porch swing, which was one of Sam's favorite things about the house. He had been married a year and a half now, and they were the first family to live in this house.

But Amber was leaving him. She had somehow found out about the hunting, the demon blood, his mother's murder, and Jess' murder. She had screamed at him and thrown things at him including the nice lamp from her mother that sat on the bedside table. It had shattered into a million pieces in the floor. Sam felt as if his heart was in as many pieces as that lamp.

Sam ached inside; he could barely breathe and his throat was so tight it was hard to swallow. It had taken him a long time, but he had finally allowed himself to love someone else besides Jess. Now Amber had taken his heart and trampled on it. To make matters worse, she was eight months pregnant. Not only was he losing his wife, but his unborn son as well. He knew Amber had enough ammunition against him to keep him from ever seeing his son. Not even the best lawyer in the country would be able to help him.

Sam rested his head in his hands as hot tears cascaded down his cheeks. He was a broken man. Reaching into his pocket with a shaking hand, he extracted his cell phone and dialed the one person he had left, the one person who always had his back.

"Dean," he choked out when his brother answered the phone, "Amber is leaving me." Left unsaid were the words _I need you._

"I'm on my way, Sammy."

Sam let the phone fall to the floor beside him with a clatter as he buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

To be continued…

Author's Note: If you can't get enough Sam and Dean, check out the fic I'm co-writing with LadyWallace called "Not Right Now." You can find it on my profile page.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, but I wouldn't mind if Sam belonged to me. I am not a doctor, so please excuse any medical mistakes.

Raising A Winchester

Chapter 1

Sam popped two Tylenol tablets into his mouth and swallowed them down with a few gulps of water.

"You really should eat something, Sam," Dean told his younger brother as he rooted around in the refrigerator in his younger brother's kitchen.

Sam sighed heavily. "I – I don't even know if I could swallow anything." His insides twisted with nausea at the thought of food. Just a week ago, he had been happy and content with a loving wife and a baby on the way. Now he wondered if Amber had ever really loved him and he grieved for the son he doubted he would ever get to see.

"Just try, Sam," Dean told him, worry making his tone sharper than intended. "I'll make grilled cheese sandwiches and heat up tomato soup." He popped open the soup can and dumped the contents into a pot he retrieved from one of the cabinets.

Sam rubbed at his eyes blearily and squinted as the headache that had started the day Amber left pounded through his head. He dropped into a chair at the kitchen table and stared morosely at Dean as his brother stirred the soup while it warmed.

Sam's cell phone rang making him jump. He picked it up from the table in front of him and glanced at the caller ID. It's was Amber's mother. He swallowed back the bile that rose in the back of his throat at the thought of a confrontation with his mother-in-law and answered the phone. "Hello."

"Sam, this is Amber's mother, Doreen." Her tone was hesitant and even a bit frosty. "Amber asked me to call you. They are doing an emergency C-section. The baby's heart rate dropped. She wants you to meet her lawyer here to sign the custody papers."

"I'm not giving up my son without a fight," Sam growled into the phone.

Dean tensed and turned around at the angry, upset tone in his brother's voice. "Amber?" he mouthed with a frown.

Sam shook his head and concentrated on Doreen's words.

"No, Sam. Amber told me what you are, about the other side to you. This child is tainted. She doesn't want it, and as her mother, I am going to go along with what she wants. You need to get here and take custody of your son."

Sam nearly dropped the phone. The room spun around him momentarily. He heard Dean calling his name, but it sounded as if it was coming from a distance. He felt his brother's hand curl around his upper arm and then Dean gave him a solid shake. He blinked and spoke into the phone. "I'm on my way."

"What did she want?" Dean asked. He was worried about the dazed stupor his brother seemed to be in.

Sam swallowed hard. "Amber is giving me the baby, Dean. She says he's tainted."

Anger, red and hot, spread through Dean. "There's nothing wrong with him."

"I know; he will be perfect," Sam replied as he pushed to his feet a bit unsteadily. He blinked at Dean and continued speaking with disbelief in his tone. "I get to raise my son. I didn't think I'd ever even get to see what he looked like." Sam swayed a bit and Dean caught his arm.

"Woah, Sammy, you need to eat." Dean turned off the stove and scooped the grilled cheese out of the pan with a spatula. "Here, you can eat this on the way to the hospital. "You're gonna be a daddy any time now, so you need to build up your strength."

Sam barely remembered the ride to the hospital. Thankfully, Dean was driving. Sam ate the sandwich without really thinking about what he was doing. Instead, his thoughts were consumed with the fact that he would get to see his son and watch him grow. He would get to tuck the little one into bed each night and teach him to write his name and tie his shoes. He would get to be called "Daddy" and get hugs and kisses. There would be birthday parties and Christmas mornings around the tree and cookies for Santa.

Dean parked the Impala in the hospital's parking lot and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Can't believe my baby brother is going to be a daddy," Dean smirked.

Sam looked at him with fear blossoming in his gaze. "Dean, what if I can't do it? I don't know anything about kids. What if I mess up?"

"Dude, you're gonna be a great dad," Dean told him. "I know that our childhood was pretty unsettled, but you know what you want for your kid. You can make it happen."

Sam swallowed hard and then fixed his brother with a grateful look. "Dean, you practically raised me. You taught me what a good father should be; I _can_ do this for my son."

Dean's green eyes widened and he swallowed hard. "No time for a chick flick moment now, Sammy Boy. I want to meet my nephew." He gave his brother's shoulder one last squeeze and then both men exited the car and made their way to the hospital's entrance.

Sam's heart was pounding and his palms were sweaty as he and Dean walked up to the information desk. "Um," he stammered to the woman dressed in light pink scrubs that sat behind the desk, "my wife was brought in for an emergency C-section."

"Name?" the woman asked.

"Amber Winchester," Sam replied as he wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans.

"Go up to the third floor – labor and delivery. There's a waiting room up there to your right when you exit the elevator."

"Thanks," Sam murmured distractedly as he and Dean headed to the elevators.

They rode up to the third floor in silence. Sam sucked in a deep breath as the doors slid open and they stepped out into the hallway. His hands were trembling and he felt jittery with nerves.

"Hang in there, Sammy," Dean encouraged him. "I've got your back."

They entered the small waiting room to find a man in a business suit sitting at the room's lone table with a briefcase in front of him. His curly red hair was impeccably groomed. "Mr. Winchester?" he asked as he stood.

"I'm Sam Winchester," Sam greeted stiffly.

"Yes, I'm Griffin Andrews, Mrs. Winchester's lawyer. I have custody paperwork here that signs the baby into your custody." The man opened the briefcase and pulled out some papers.

"Has my son been born?" Sam asked anxiously. He needed to be with his child, not talking to some stuffy lawyer.

"Not that I know of," Griffin answered. "Mrs. Winchester was just taken into surgery shortly before you arrived."

Sam nodded. "Show me where to sign." He took the papers the lawyer handed him and read them over. Dean looked over his shoulder and read along. Everything seemed in order, so Sam signed and Dean was their witness.

"Congratulations, Mr. Winchester," the lawyer told Sam. He stood and picked up his briefcase. "Best of luck to you and your son."

Once he was gone, Sam stared anxiously at his brother. "I'm really going to do this, Dean. I'm going to be a single father."

"But you won't be alone," Dean promised him. "Whatever you need or whatever the baby needs, I'll see that you get it."

A small smile curved Sam's lips. "I know, Dean, and thank you."

Amber's mother bustled into the doorway then. "The baby is here, but he is having trouble breathing. The nurse is going to come and take you to him."

Sam's eyes widened as panic thrummed through him. "Is he going to be all right? What's wrong with him?" And then he couldn't help asking, "How's Amber?"

Doreen huffed. "They'll tell you all about the baby, I'm sure. I really don't know any more other than that they took him straight to the NICU. Amber didn't even want to hold him or see him. She seemed afraid that he would look like a monster."

"My son isn't a monster," Sam bristled angrily.

"Mr. Winchester?" a nurse asked pleasantly from the doorway. "Come with me. I'd like to introduce you to your son."

"Is he all right?" Sam asked anxiously as he and Dean hurried to the nurse's side leaving Doreen behind.

"He's having a bit of trouble breathing on his own right now, so the doctor is checking him over."

"Will he be okay?" Sam asked, wishing the nurse would walk faster. He needed to be with his son.

"The doctor will be able to explain things to you once he examines your son and knows what is going on," the nurse explained kindly as she stopped at the entrance to the NICU. "Now, let me show you the procedures to follow before you enter."

Once he and Dean had washed their hands and suited up in yellow paper gowns, Sam followed the nurse into the NICU with his heart pounding loudly in his chest. His stomach burned with anxiety and he was trembling all over. His son was in here in one of these beds. The thought was unreal to him as he passed babies hooked up to wires and tubes, their little bodies unnaturally still. The worry on their parents' faces haunted him. He swallowed convulsively as the nurse stopped beside a bed where a doctor and a NICU nurse worked over a tiny red baby. The little boy's chest worked up and down as he labored to breathe.

"Is this him?" Sam choked out, his mouth as dry as cotton. "Is this my son?"

The nurse smiled and patted his arm. "This is your son, Mr. Winchester. They are just working to get his breathing stabilized and then you can visit with him."

"He's – he's so tiny," Sam breathed as he watched the infant struggle for each breath. Only pitiful, mewling cries emerged from the boy's mouth. He didn't have the breath to let out a squalling cry.

Sam jumped when his brother's hand landed on his upper arm and squeezed tightly. "Look at him, Sammy," Dean murmured. The baby's color was definitely beginning to look better and his cries were getting louder. "Look how he scrunches up his face. He's already got that bitch face down perfectly."

Sam just nodded, unable to speak as his son let out his first real cry and began to wave his tiny fists angrily.

"There we go, little one," the doctor encouraged as he swept his gaze back and forth between the baby and the monitors.

The nurse assisting with the infant looked up and smiled at Sam and Dean. "Are you his family?"

When Sam didn't answer, Dean stepped forward and slapped his baby brother on the back. "This is his dad. I'm his uncle."

The nurse nodded. "My name is Sandy. I will be one of your son's nurses back here in the NICU. Does he have a name?" she asked as she gazed up at Sam.

"Uh…yeah….," Sam replied, thinking of the list of names he and Amber had poured over night after night once they were relaxing in bed. Sam decided to go with the name he had liked best even though Amber hadn't thought much of it. "Nathaniel Dean Winchester," he told her with a hint of pride in his voice.

Sam heard his brother's quick intake of breath beside him and clapped an unsteady hand on Dean's shoulder. "You've been the one constant in my life, and you practically raised me. I want him to carry your name."

Dean swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "I'm honored, Sammy." That was as close to a chick flick moment as he'd allow himself to get.

Sam's gaze returned to his son. "When can I hold him?" Truth be told, he was terrified he'd hurt the tiny baby, but he longed to comfort little Nathaniel as the boy continued to cry.

"You won't be able to hold him until his oxygen levels are stable," Sandy explained gently, "but you can talk to him and touch him as soon as the doctor says it's all right. You can even take some pictures."

"I think it's fine for you to visit with him now," the middle-aged doctor with kind blue eyes told them. "Congratulations on your son. I'll let you sit with him for a bit and then I'll come and go over what you can expect over the next few days. I'm Doctor Jordan."

"Thank you, Doctor," Sam breathed as he stepped to his son's bedside anxiously, not even noticing as the nurse and the doctor left them alone. He could sense his brother's presence next to him. "He's so small, Dean," he whispered. "How am I ever going to keep him safe?"

Dean forced himself to give his brother encouragement even though he, too, was worried about the child's safety. "I'll help you, Sam. Nothing will get past the two of us."

Sam reached out tentatively and touched his son's amazingly small hand. Nathaniel's tiny fingers wrapped around Sam's fingertip. The new father's breath caught in his throat. He didn't realize that his brother was snapping pictures with his phone.

"Hey, Nathaniel, it's Daddy," he murmured as he studied the boy's light dusting of brown hair, his round cheeks, and Cupid's bow mouth. He chuckled as his son let out a lusty cry.

"That's Uncle Dean's boy," Dean announced quietly as he moved to the baby's other side and ran a tentative fingertip over the soft skin Nathaniel's arm.

A full grin erupted on Sam's face and his dimples flashed as he heard his brother's words. "It's just gonna be you, me, and Uncle Dean, Nathan," Sam tried out the nickname for the first time and decided he liked it, "but we're going to be just fine."

"Your daddy's right, kiddo," Dean promised the squalling infant. "We'll be the three musketeers."

Sam's voice was quiet and sad when he spoke again. "He's going to grow up without a mom, Dean, just like we did. Only our mom loved us, but Nathan's mom thinks he's a monster. What will I tell him when he asks about her?"

Dean sighed. "Sam, we have plenty of time to work that out. We'll come up with something. Just enjoy your son for now."

Sam stroked a tender hand over his son's head. "Daddy loves you, Nathan."

Sandy returned with a small sign for the baby's bed that read "Nathaniel Dean Winchester, 8 lbs 4 oz., 20 inches long." She attached it to the front of the bed. "There, now everyone will know who this little fella is." She smiled at Sam and then checked the baby's vitals. "Everything is looking good right now," she explained.

Spying Dean taking another picture of his nephew, Sandy reached for the phone. "You guys lean in close to Nathaniel, and I'll take your picture."

Both brothers eagerly complied with her demand.

"There," she stated happily. "That turned out great!" Sandy handed the phone back to Dean. "I see the doctor heading this way to talk to you. I'll be back to check on Nathaniel in just a bit."

Doctor Jordan took a look at the baby's monitors and then smiled. "Mr. Winchester, your son is holding his own. I'm pleased with the way his numbers are looking. We will monitor him a bit longer to make sure everything is stable, and then I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to hold him."

A grin split Sam's face. "Really?"

The doctor nodded with an answering smile. "He's doing quite well. He had a bit of fluid in his lungs, which was causing the breathing trouble. We will watch him carefully for infection, but right now he's doing fine."

Once the doctor left, Sam eagerly stroked his hand over his son's downy brown hair and studied the boy's face. "Who do you think he looks like?" he asked his older brother.

Dean leaned closer and his brow crinkled in thought as he gazed at the tiny boy's features. "His eyes are shaped like yours, Sam," he decided. "I think he has your mouth, too. His chin, though, that's all Amber along with his nose."

Nathan whimpered and Sam shushed him gently before glancing up at his brother. "Remember when you used to sing 'Hey Jude' to me when we were little and I couldn't sleep?"

Dean smiled and his green eyes grew sad. "Yeah, Mom used to sing it to me."

"Then it's only appropriate that it's the song we sing to Nathan as well," Sam told his brother as he began to hum softly to the restless infant.

Sandy returned after a while and checked the baby's vitals. They were still good, so she turned to Sam. "Ready to hold your son, Daddy?" she asked with a smile.

Sam suddenly looked nervous. "What if I hurt him or drop him? What if the wires get tangled?"

"Stop worrying, Samantha, and hold your son," Dean groaned as he prodded his brother in the side.

Nodding nervously, Sam settled into the rocking chair the nurse provided and nearly forgot to breathe as his tiny son was placed in his arms for the first time. He was so small in Sam's long arms, but he fit snugly up against his daddy's chest. The baby was sleeping, and only stirred slightly when he was placed in Sam's arms. Nathan's little lips worked as he slept, making Sam smile. "What are you dreaming about, buddy?" he asked quietly as he rocked the slumbering baby.

Dean chuckled as he snapped a picture. "With the way his lips are moving, my guess is supper."

Nathan's eyes blinked open and he squirmed in Sam's arms as opened his tiny mouth and let out a squawk. Sam nearly panicked. "What's wrong with him?"

"I bet he's hungry," Dean informed his little brother.

Sandy agreed. "Do you want to try feeding him?" She handed Sam a bottle and showed him how to position it.

Sam concentrated on holding the bottle in just the right position. It took Nathan a few tries, but he soon latched onto the nipple and sucked greedily. Sam grinned up at his brother. "He has your appetite, Dean."

It seemed as if Nathan had just started eating when it was time to burp him. Sam nearly panicked as Sandy helped him settle the baby on his shoulder. He patted the tiny back and chuckled when the eight pound baby let out a loud belch that seemed way too big for his small size. Then he looked up at his big brother. "Do you want to feed him the rest of his bottle?"

A smile curved Dean's lips. "Are you sure, Sam?"

"Of course," the younger Winchester answered. "Nathan loves his Uncle Dean already. He can't wait for you to hold him."

Sam stood up carefully and Dean took his place in the rocking chair. Sandy helped Sam transfer the baby into his brother's arms.

"Hey there, kiddo," Dean smiled as he settled his nephew in the curve of his arm. Nathan began to fuss until Dean manipulated the nipple between the boy's lips once again. "There you go; eat up for Uncle Dean."

Sam was the one taking pictures this time. He grinned proudly at his big brother.

"You did good, Sammy," Dean announced as he looked down at the infant in his arms. Nathan yawned and then screwed his face up and began to cry. Dean's nose suddenly wrinkled. "I think your son needs his diaper changed."

Sam's face paled. "Uh, I'm not sure I know how to do that."

Sandy laughed. "I'll give you a quick lesson. Come here."

She talked Sam through the process of cleaning up a dirty baby and disposing of the diaper. Then she frowned as she ran her hand over Nathan's skin. "He feels warm."

Worry unfurled in Sam's gut and he shared a look with his brother.

Sandy checked the baby's temperature and nodded. "He's running a slight fever. I'm going to ask Doctor Jordan to take a look at him."

Sam kept a gentle hand on his son's tummy as Dean stroked the boy's hair. "You're going to be okay, Nathan," Sam murmured to his son. "Daddy and Uncle Dean are right here. We'll take good care of you."

The brothers waited anxiously for the doctor to return, both of them wondering about the source of Nathan's fever. "What if it's something bad, Dean?" Sam worried out loud.

"Stop it, Sam. We don't even know if we need to worry yet," Dean pointed out. "Let's just wait until we talk to the doctor."

Sam nodded and kept his fingers stroking in a gently rhythm over his son's soft skin. Nathan had to be okay; Sam didn't know what he would do if something happened to his son. He loved the small boy more than he ever thought possible.

To Be Continued…

Author's Note: Please continue to keep Jared in your prayers.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, but I wouldn't mind if Sam belonged to me. I am not a doctor, so please excuse any medical mistakes.

Raising A Winchester

Chapter 2

Doctor Jordan examined baby Nathan carefully and spent extra time listening to his fragile lungs. "I'm afraid we have a lung infection setting in, possibly pneumonia," the doctor explained gravely.

"How serious is this in an infant?" Dean asked as he watched Sam stroke the tiny baby's downy brown hair.

"Well, we've caught it early. We will get him started on antibiotics and breathing treatments. Hopefully, we can keep things from getting too bad." Doctor Jordan made some notes on Nathan's chart. "Sandy will get the antibiotics started in just a few minutes and then I will reevaluate Nathaniel in a few hours. I'd also like to do a chest x-ray to see if we're dealing with pneumonia."

"But he'll be all right?" Sam asked anxiously, never taking his eyes from his son.

"The antibiotics should take care of the infection barring any complications," the doctor informed him. "Let's get the medication started and see what the x-rays show us."

Sandy returned with the medication and Sam felt tears prick his eyes as an IV was started on his infant son. The baby cried, but it was not as robust as it had sounded earlier. Nathan was struggling to breathe. Once the antibiotics had been started, Sandy hooked Nathan up to oxygen to help him breathe better. She patted Sam on the shoulder as she finished up. "Hang in there, Hon," she soothed. "I've seen a lot in my years as a NICU nurse, and your son will be just fine."

"Thank you, Sandy," Sam managed a brief smile up at the nurse before turning his attention to his son once again.

When the nurse moved on to check on her other patients, Sam sighed. "He's so small, Dean. I would do anything to suffer in his place."

"Me, too, Sammy," Dean admitted. "But we'll have him home before you know it. Were you and Amber all ready for him?"

Sam frowned thoughtfully. "His nursery is ready. I put the crib together the night before Amber found out about…..everything." Sam paused and cleared his throat before continuing. "The only other thing we needed to do was wash all of the new clothes we got for him."

Dean nodded. "No worries. When we think it's almost time for him to head home, I'll go to your place and wash everything up."

"Thanks, Dean," Sam responded gratefully. He was so relieved Dean was here with him. Just having his brother by his side made dealing with Nathan's illness and Amber's leaving just a tiny bit easier.

The night drug on slowly. Sam sat with Nathan while Dean tried to grab a little sleep on one of the couches outside in the waiting room. The hospital was freezing and the couch was hard, so Dean mostly just tossed and turned. Finally, around six in the morning he went in search of coffee. After having two cups of the hospital's strong brew, he headed back to the NICU to relieve his brother and check on his nephew.

Nathan was still running a fever and needed oxygen to help him breathe. The worried lines on Sam's brow had deepened and now exhaustion had caused dark circles to form beneath the younger Winchester's eyes.

Dean placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Go get some rest, Sam. I'll stay with Nathan. Maybe you should think about heading home for a while. Those couches out there aren't any better than sleeping on the hard ground."

Sam shook his head. "I'm not leaving the hospital. What if he needs me?" He bit back the words he wanted to add. His son's mother had left him; his father certainly wasn't going to leave him, too.

"Then I'll call you," Dean told his brother calmly. "You're no good to Nathan if you wear yourself down." Dean's heart ached at the sight of his tiny nephew hooked up to so many wires, tubes, and monitors. He honestly wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave the baby either. He had hoped Sam's son would have escaped the rotten Winchester luck, but so far it seemed to have the baby tightly in its grasp.

"I'll sleep in the waiting room," Sam said quietly.

"Get something to eat, too," Dean ordered. "I'll be right here with Nathan, and I'll call you if he needs you."

Sam ran a gentle hand over his son's head. "Thanks, Dean," he said quietly, his voice heavy with exhaustion as he took one last look at his son before leaving the NICU.

Dean stroked Nathan's tiny arm with the tips of his fingers and watched the worried faces of parents as they passed by him. There were mothers, fathers, and grandparents all worried about the tiny little babies that were fighting for their lives. Dean looked back at Nathan. The only family the little boy had was right here in this hospital. Anger boiled in Dean's gut as he thought about Amber and Doreen. How could they just toss this kid to the side like he was some sort of monster?

"Don't worry, kiddo," Dean told the baby softly. "You're gonna love your dad. He's a great guy, and he'll take good care of you. It won't matter that you don't have a mom. Your dad will read you bedtime stories and tuck you in at night. He'll help you with your homework and patch up your scraped knees." Dean chuckled. "But the fun stuff, you leave that up to Uncle Dean. Me and you are going to have a blast, kid. You just wait and see."

Dean sighed. "You've got to get well so we can take you home. You're scaring your dad to death, Nathan. He needs you to get better and be strong."

The monitor next to the baby's bed began beeping as an alarm went off. Dean looked up in fear as his heart began pounding harder in his chest. "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked as Sandy came over to check the numbers on the screen.

"His oxygen level has dropped a bit. I'll tell the day shift nurse to keep an eye on him."

"Wait, you're leaving?" Dean asked worriedly.

"Hon, I have to get home to my husband. You'll be in good hands. Sarah will give Nathan excellent care." As she spoke, Sandy increased the oxygen that Nathan was getting and checked the baby's temperature. "Doctor Jordan will be in to speak with you before he leaves."

"Thanks, Sandy," Dean nodded. "You've been great."

The nurse patted Dean's shoulder reassuringly. "It's going to be okay, Hon. We'll take good care of your nephew."

Once she left, Dean studied the monitors attached to Nathan and paid careful attention to the numbers so that he would be able to give Sam a detailed report of what was going on with his son.

Doctor Jordan stopped by a little while later and reviewed Nathan's chart. "We got some bloodwork back, and I'd like to change Nathaniel's antibiotics. The new one should work better and get him feeling better faster."

Dean nodded. "Sandy just had to increase his oxygen."

"Little ones like this can have a hard time until the medication really takes hold," Doctor Jordan cautioned. "We should start seeing improvement within forty eight hours if this medicine works like I think it will."

Dean let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "That's great. Sam will be so glad to hear that. Thank you, Doctor."

"My pleasure. Now, my shift is over, but Doctor Harrison will be taking over for me. He is excellent with babies that struggle with lung conditions."

"Thanks again, Doctor Jordan," Dean told man as he shook his hand gratefully.

The hours passed by slowly. Dean typed oxygen amounts into his phone and decided he would purchase a notebook he and Sam could pass back and forth as they took turns sitting with the baby to monitor his progress or struggles.

When Sam returned a few hours later, he still looked haggard and worried. His long hair was sleep-mussed and greasy and he needed to shave. Dean frowned. "Dude, have you looked in a mirror?"

Sam grimaced and ran a hand over the scruff on his face. "I could say the same to you."

Dean shook his head and allowed the corners of his mouth to hook upward in a smile. "Nah, the five o'clock shadow makes me look sexy."

Sam snorted and then rubbed a gentle fingertip over the soft skin of Nathan's arm. "How's he doing?"

"They had to increase his oxygen a little bit, but other than that he's holding his own. Doctor Jordan changed his medicine. Said we should see improvement in about forty eight hours if the medicine works like he expects it to."

Sam smiled tiredly. "Here that, Nathan? You'll be feeling better soon, buddy." He turned his attention to his brother. "If that medicine works, maybe Nathan can go home soon."

Dean stood and stretched, his muscles protesting after hours of sitting still. "I'll head back to your place and get some laundry started. Call me if there's a change."

"I will," Sam replied as he sank tiredly into the chair his brother had just vacated.

Dean drove to Sam's house and let himself in the front door. The house felt empty, but Dean knew that Sam would make it feel like a home for his son's sake. Anger spiked in the older Winchester's gut as he thought about Amber leaving her husband and newborn son. He longed to confront her face to face and let her know just how he felt about the matter.

With a heavy sigh, he trudged upstairs and went into the room Sam and Amber had fixed up as a nursery. The room had been painted a pale blue. The crib and changing table were dark mahogany in color. White curtains dotted with blue and tan puppies hung at the windows. They matched the crib bumper Amber or Sam had already placed in the baby's bed. A stack of new clothes was lying on top of the changing table. Dean picked up the top sleeper and marveled at how tiny it was. He tugged his pocket knife out of his pocket and used it to trim the tags off of the clothing before he gathered them up and carried them downstairs to the washing machine.

Once the load of wash had started, Dean shrugged out of his t-shirt and threw it in the laundry bin before stepping out of his jeans and tossing them on top of his shirt. It was time for a shower and a shave.

When he exited the bathroom twenty minutes later, Dean felt and looked much better although he was still exhausted. He heard his phone ringing and hurried to the bed where he had tossed it to snatch it up.

Sam dozed off in the chair at his son's side, but snapped awake when his chin bobbed down to his chest. He sighed. "I'm sorry, buddy. Daddy is tired, but I'll try really hard to stay awake in case you need me."

Nathan squirmed under Sam's touch as the young father ran his hands over the soft, downy hair.

Sam smiled. "You act like you're starting to feel better."

The nurse, Sarah, smiled as she approached and checked on Nathan. "I'm sure he is feeling better. Looks like his fever broke." She adjusted a few things and gave Sam a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I think he's on the road to recovery."

"Really?" Sam sat up in excitement.

Sarah nodded. "The doctor will probably order another chest x-ray to check on things this evening and we will make plans from there."

Sam nodded. "I need to slip out and call my brother with the news. Can you keep an eye on my son for me?"

"Sure," Sarah smiled. "I'll be right here at the desk, so I'll be close by if he needs anything."

"Thanks," Sam grinned. "I'll only be gone a few minutes."

Sam slipped out of the NICU and eagerly called Dean, anxious to share the good news.

Dean snatched up the phone as it continued to ring; his heart was beating wildly in his chest when he saw Sam's name on the screen. What if something was wrong with Nathan? Had he taken a turn for the worse? "Sam?" Dean asked worriedly as he answered the phone.

"Dean, his fever broke," Sam babbled excitedly. "The nurse said they'll do another chest x-ray tonight, but she thinks he's on the road to recovery."

Dean heaved a sigh of relief and sank down onto the bed. "That's great, Sam."

"He's even moving around more like he feels better," Sam enthused.

Dean grinned, suddenly eager to see his nephew again.

"Stay home and get some rest, and come back tonight," Sam told him. "Then, if Nathan is doing well, I'll go home and sleep."

The older Winchester yawned, suddenly feeling his exhaustion despite his eagerness to see the tiny baby. "Okay, Sammy. I'll see you and Nathan later tonight." He hung up the phone and flopped back on the bed, closing his eyes and sighing at the feel of the soft mattress beneath him. He would close his eyes for just a minute and then go check on the clothes. It was only mere seconds before sleep claimed him.

To be continued…

Author's Note: It's my plan for this story to eventually become a series of one shots featuring Sam, Nathan, and Dean. Hopefully, my muse will cooperate. If you are hankering for more SPN fan fiction, check out "Not Right Now." You can find it on my profile page. I co-wrote it with LadyWallace and update it each Thursday. Thanks so much!


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, Sam, or Dean. Nathan is the only one that belongs to me.

Raising A Winchester

Chapter 3

Sam looked down at the tiny baby nestled in his arms as they slowly rocked back and forth in the hospital's rocking chair. Nathan yawned and blinked owlishly up at his daddy. A small smile curved Sam's mouth as he gazed down in loving awe at his son even as his heart broke at the thought of going home to a life without Amber.

Dean entered the room with Nathan's pale blue and gray diaper bag slung over his shoulder. He studied his brother's face and immediately knew what Sam was thinking about. "You're better off without her, Sammy, and so is Nathan if she's going to treat him like he's a freak."

"I know," Sam sighed heavily, "but just because she could stop loving me at the drop of a hat doesn't mean my feelings for her can just be cut off like that. I thought we were going to be a family, Dean. I thought Nathan was going to have a mom that loved him."

"Well," Dean countered, "he'll have a dad and an uncle that will move heaven and earth if necessary to make sure he's safe and happy. That's all he'll need."

Sam looked up from his son's face and met Dean's gaze. "You're right." Shifting the wrapped bundle in his arms, Sam stood. Nathan grunted and whined for a moment before settling once again.

"Are you guys ready to head out?" Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. "I'm still waiting to sign the paperwork."

A sound at the room's door made the brothers look up expecting to see the doctor. Instead, Amber's mother stood there with her eyes fixed on the infant held protectively in Sam's arms.

Sam wrapped Nathan closer to his chest while Dean practically bristled. "What are you doing here, Doreen?" Sam asked quietly, his voice nearly dangerous in tone.

The woman sighed and pushed her light brown, graying hair back from her face. "Sam, I have to support my daughter. I hope you can understand where I'm coming from."

Sam shook his head harshly. "I'll never understand. Nathan isn't a freak or a monster."

"Neither are you, Sam," Dean assured him firmly.

The younger Winchester ignored his brother and continued speaking. "What am I going to tell Nathan when he asks about his mother? How do I tell him that she was terrified of him? How do I tell him that she thinks he's a monster?"

Doreen stepped forward and stood on tiptoe as she attempted to get a peek at Nathan's face. "This is my only chance to see my grandson," she murmured quietly as if she hadn't been listening to Sam. "I have to see him for myself; I need to know…" she trailed off and swallowed hard, sadness and perhaps a bit of fear lurking in her eyes.

"Get out," Dean spat at her.

"Dean," Sam warned softly as he pulled Nathan away from his chest and held him so that Doreen could look into the boy's face. "Nathan isn't a monster," he told the woman passionately. "He's just a baby, a baby that's going to grow up without his mom just like my brother and I did. It was my fault then, and it's my fault now. Nathan doesn't deserve that."

"Sammy, no! You were just used as a pawn in someone else's game," Dean told his younger brother. "None of this is your fault. Amber chose to leave her son. You didn't force her hand on anything."

"Maybe if I had told her everything from the start," Sam sighed, "maybe Nathan wouldn't be in this situation now."

"Yeah, there would be no Nathan," Dean pointed out, already unable to imagine his life, their lives, without the infant in it.

"You named him Nathan," Doreen stated softly as she reached out a hesitant hand to touch the soft, fuzzy hair on the infant's head.

"His name is Nathaniel Dean Winchester," Sam told her proudly as he worked hard to shove his guilt to the side. There would be time to stew over that later. "His middle name is after my brother."

"Amber doesn't like the name Nathan," Doreen murmured, still stroking the baby's head.

"She doesn't get a choice," Sam told her without hesitation.

"I like it," the woman continued as if Sam hadn't said a word. "The name suits him."

Nathan scrunched up his face and began to mewl pitifully. Sam lifted the baby to his shoulder and patted the boy's back, but Nathan only cried louder.

"Someone's hungry," Sam announced. "Thank you for stopping by, Doreen." His tone suggested that the visit was over. He needed to tend to his son.

"Thank you for letting me see him," Doreen said softly. When there was no reply from either Sam or Dean, Doreen cast one last longing look at the baby and left the room.

"That woman has a lot of nerve," Dean sputtered as he reached for the baby. "Come see Uncle Dean while your daddy goes to find you a bottle." Dean held the baby protectively against him and began to rock back and forth on his feet. "You're gonna be a big eater just like your uncle, huh?" Dean murmured against the baby's temple. "None of that rabbit food crap your daddy eats for you, right buddy?"

Sam huffed a laugh and went to retrieve one of Nathan's bottles from the nurse. He returned moments later and reached for his son, but Dean turned away.

"It's my turn, Sam," he informed his younger brother. "You pack Nathan's bags. I'll take care of him."

Sam nodded and handed the bottle to his brother. He was so tired; the exhaustion seemed to reach down into his soul. It wasn't just physical exhaustion, but emotional as well. His entire life had been turned upside down over the past two weeks. He wanted to go to sleep and pretend everything was turning out just the way he had planned it. Sam had imagined looking down at a tired, but proud Amber holding their son. He had dreamed about the moment he and Amber would carry their baby into their home and snuggle him into the crib for the first time. But Amber had chosen not to share in any of this. Sam ached inside. It hurt too much to think of it, so instead he focused on packing Nathan's diaper bag.

Dean popped the nipple into the baby's mouth and watched as Nathan suckled greedily. "That's my boy," Dean beamed proudly. He knew he was never going to have any children of his own, so his brother's child would be as close as he'd ever get to having a son. Nathan's eyes stared up at him as his tiny fist batted the air. Dean felt his lips curve upward in a smile. "That's it; eat up, little man."

Sam packed the baby's few belongings into the diaper bag and zipped it up. The nurse came in the door with papers and a pen in her hand. "I've got all of Nathan's paperwork here. I'll get you to sign it and then I'll answer any questions you have before you take him home."

Sam nodded and signed his name quickly on the line at the bottom of the paper before returning it to the nurse. He grinned when he heard Nathan give a large belch behind him as Dean patted the baby on the back.

Once Nathan had finished eating, Dean buckled the baby into his carrier and tucked a blanket around him. "You ready, Sammy?" he asked.

Sam nodded and handed his brother the diaper bag before gripping the handle of the carrier. "Let's get you home, Nathan."

The baby's eyes drifted shut in slumber. He didn't seem to be too excited about leaving the hospital.

They took the elevator downstairs and walked across the parking lot to where Dean had parked the Impala. With trembling fingers, Sam secured Nathan's carrier into its base in the backseat and walked around to the other side so that he could sit beside his son. Dean plopped the diaper bag on the front passenger seat and then climbed into the driver's seat.

"You ready?" he asked as he glanced in the rearview mirror.

Sam nodded and glanced at his sleeping son as Dean pulled out of the hospital's parking lot. It didn't take them long to get home. Sam swallowed hard when Dean parked the Impala in the driveway. It still seemed unreal to come back to a house without Amber.

"You've got this, Sam," Dean said quietly as he exited the car and slung the diaper bag over his shoulder once again.

Sam nodded, but didn't respond. Instead, he unhooked his son's carrier from its base and carried him toward the house. Once inside, he set the carrier on the floor beside the recliner and studied his sleeping son.

Nathan's fist was curled against his pudgy cheek and he sighed in his sleep.

"Should I put him in his crib?" Sam asked thoughtfully.

Dean frowned. "You might wake him up. Maybe it's okay if he sleeps in there just this once."

Sam shrugged and stretched out on the sofa next to Nathan's carrier, exhaustion sapping the last of his strength. Dean, instead of heading into the bedroom, flopped onto the floor after snatching the remote from the coffee table. He turned on the television and found an old movie on a science fiction channel. Both brothers soon joined the baby in slumber.

Sam woke sometime later. The movie Dean had been watching had ended and another one had started. Nathan was squirming in his carrier and making mewling sounds. Sam rubbed at his eyes and rolled off of the couch to kneel before his son. "Sorry, buddy," he yawned as he unbuckled his son and lifted him against his chest. "Oh, hey," Sam wrinkled his nose. "Nathan, you stink!"

The baby only yawned and pursed his rosebud lips.

Casting his gaze around, Sam stood and snatched a folded towel off of the pile Dean had left on the kitchen table. He carried it back into the living room and stretched it out on the floor before placing his son on it. The smell of soiled diaper assaulted his nostrils. Swallowing hard, he removed the dirty clothing and grimaced at the sight of the diaper. Holding his breath, he removed the offending Pamper and rolled it up, nearly gagging. He grasped some wipes and began cleaning up his son.

Dean continued to sleep on the floor nearby, one arm flung over his eyes to block out the light.

Sam finished wiping up Nathan and reached or a fresh diaper just as a steam of urine erupted from his son. "Woah!" Sam sputtered, leaning back out of the spray.

Dean wasn't so lucky. It dripped down his arm and into his hair. "Close the window in the Impala, Sammy. It's raining in here."

Sam couldn't help the laughter that bubbled forth. "Dean, it's not raining and you're not in the Impala."

"Huh?" Dean asked as he came to full wakefulness and removed his arm from his face. It finally dawned on him where the liquid was coming from and he jolted to a sitting position. "Sam, that's gross! You just sat there and let your son pee all over me!"

"Hey, it's not like he's potty-trained, Dean," Sam chuckled as he finished wiping up his son and wrangled Nathan into a fresh diaper.

Dean cursed under his breath. "I think it got in my eye," he fussed as he headed upstairs to take a shower, the sound of Sam's laughter following him.

Sam disposed of the mess, washed his hands, and lifted his son up into his arms. "Good job, buddy," he told Nathan. "Gotta keep Uncle Dean on his toes."

Nathan shoved his fist into his mouth and sucked it hungrily.

"I bet you're hungry," Sam told the infant as he cradled him against his chest and carried him into the kitchen.

Nathan was just finishing up a bottle when Dean reappeared downstairs, his hair still damp from a shower. "I still can't believe you let your son pee on me. What kind of a father are you?" he grouched as he started a pot of coffee.

Sam just shook his head and settled Nathan against his arm for a burp. After only two pats on his back, the baby belched loudly.

Dean grinned. "Oh, yeah, Nathan. Already taking after good ol' Uncle Dean."

Sam just shook his head ruefully and huffed a small laugh.

Nathan was soon asleep again, so Dean kept an eye on the baby while Sam took a shower. The infant slept through supper, but woke when it was time for bed.

"I think we need to work on his sleep schedule, Sam," Dean groaned as his younger brother paced the floor with a crying baby held against his shoulder.

Sam was too frazzled to answer. He'd fed his son, changed his diaper, rocked him, and sang to him. Nothing was placating the upset infant. The baby kept drawing his little legs up to his tummy and howled until his face turned blood red.

"Maybe his stomach hurts," Sam decided as he settled in the rocking chair with his baby and rubbed a gentle hand over the boy's tummy. Nathan only cried louder.

"Maybe," Dean answered thoughtfully.

"Oh," Sam answered a moment later, a frown creasing his brow.

"What does that mean?" his older brother asked in confusion.

"Um, I think he just pooped," Sam replied as the baby quieted slightly.

"Well, you go change him. I'm going to bed before you let him pee on me again." Sucking in a deep breath so as not to smell anything questionable, Dean leaned over and rubbed a gentle hand over the baby's head. "Goodnight, kiddo. Aim for your daddy this time."

Sam scowled at Dean's back, but promptly changed his son's diaper. Nathan seemed more comfortable afterwards, but still protested every time Sam placed him in his crib.

It was several hours later before the tiny baby let either his father or his uncle get some sleep. Sam had no idea how he was going to survive the next few months until Nathan was ready to sleep through the night.

To be continued…

Author's Note: From here on out, this will be a series of one-shots featuring Sam, Dean, and baby Nathan. Thanks so much for reading!


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I would love to think that I own Sam. Nathan and Amber belong to me.

*Thanks to LadyWallace for reading over part of this for me!

Raising A Winchester

Chapter 4

Dean settled back against the headboard of the bed in the musty hotel room. The latest hunt had been a difficult one, and while Bobby was a great hunter and a devoted friend, he wasn't Sam. Dean missed having his brother at his back. Bobby had offered to go get pizza while Dean rested his leg. Dean had twisted it when he and Bobby were running through the forest after a wendigo. He picked up his phone from the bed beside him and dialed Sam's number. He called his brother several times a week to check on Nathan, but he'd been really busy the past few days with this hunt; three people had disappeared in the area and the wendigo needed to be stopped.

Sam answered his phone on the fourth ring sounding tired. Dean could hear Nathan screaming in the background.

"What'd you do, Sam, pinch the baby?" Dean asked.

Sam sighed heavily. "I think maybe he's coming down with something. He hasn't slept well the last two nights and he's been fussy all day. I couldn't get much work done." Sam had been lucky enough to find a job where he could work from home. That way he didn't have to find a babysitter for his son. He was able to stay home, raise his son, and make sure Nathan was safe.

Dean was suddenly concerned. Nathan was the closest thing to a son he would ever have, and he hadn't seen his nephew in a month. Sam sounded exhausted. It was time to tell Bobby he needed a break to visit his brother. He couldn't hunt anything strenuous until his leg was better anyway. He winced as the crying got louder. Sam must have picked up the baby.

"I'm coming to stay with you a few days, Sam. It's been too long since I've seen Nathan. Maybe he just needs his Uncle Dean."

Sam grunted into the phone. "I've got to go, Dean. Nathan just made a really messy diaper. It's everywhere."

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Sammy," Dean promised with a frown.

Sammy mumbled a goodbye and hung up so he could care for the baby.

Bobby entered the room with a pizza then and grinned at Dean. "I'm starving." His smile faded at the look on Dean's face. "What's up, Dean?"

"I talked to Sam. He's exhausted and Nathan isn't feeling well. I'm heading home for a few days in the morning to give Sam a break." Home. Dean realized that wherever Sam and Nathan were was his home. They had moved into a smaller house since Nathan was born and Amber had left her little family, but Sam had set aside a little bedroom that was just for Dean. He had painted the walls off-white and had chosen a dark green and navy blue bedspread for the bed. The dresser had a framed picture of John and Mary along with a picture of Nathan. Sam had even told him he could leave his things there while he traveled. Yes, Sam's house was Dean's true home, the first one he'd had in years.

"What's wrong with Nathan?" Bobby asked as he placed the pizza on the room's small, round table.

"Sam said he's been fussy and he doesn't want to sleep. He had a messy diaper while we were on the phone." Dean shifted anxiously on the bed. "Maybe I should leave tonight. I could be there by morning."

"Not with that leg, ya idjit!" Bobby protested. "Do you want to kill yourself or wreck that big black car of yours?"

Dean scowled.

"Don't give me that look," Bobby fussed. "You know I'm right. Sam and Nathan will be fine until you get there. Sam's a big boy. He can handle this."

Dean frowned at the older hunter as he accepted the piece of pizza on the napkin Bobby handed him. "Sam didn't sound so good either. He's worn out, and he's hurting over Amber."

Bobby sighed. "Want me to drive you there?" he asked around a bite of pizza as he dropped unceremoniously into a chair by the table.

Dean ran a hand through his short hair in frustration. "If we wait until morning, I can drive myself. You won't have to leave your truck here."

"Who said I was going to leave my truck?" Bobby answered dryly as Dean glared at him.

The hunters ate in silence as they watched television. Dean's mind was not on the horror movie in front of him, but on his brother and tiny nephew.

Sam was nearly at the end of his rope. He was exhausted. "Please stop crying, Nathan," he pleaded as he paced up and down the hallway with his son on his shoulder. He rubbed the baby's back in soothing circles, and Nathan's cries became whimpers but did not stop.

"I know you don't feel good, buddy," he murmured around a yawn, "but Daddy needs some sleep." The baby had only slept a few sporadic hours the night before and then slept a bit this morning. Sam had used the time this morning to get some work done. He was falling terribly behind.

A knock on the door made him jump which caused Nathan to start wailing again. "Please be Dean," Sam murmured hopefully. He made his way to the door and peered through the peep hole, relieved so see his brother on the porch and the Impala in the driveway. Tugging open the door, he gazed gratefully at his older brother.

"Give me my nephew, Sammy," Dean said immediately. "You look like crap." He dropped his duffle on the floor just inside of the doorway and took the screaming baby from Sam's arms. "Are you sure he's not sick?" Dean hollered at his brother over the sound of Nathan's wails.

"I took him to the doctor this morning," Sam sighed. "They said he's teething. His gums are swollen on the bottom. I've tried the things the doctor suggested. They worked for a bit, but now he's just inconsolable."

"Huh," Dean said, trying to get a good look in the baby's mouth.

Sam scrubbed a trembling hand over his face. "I'm going to step out back for a bit. I just need a break from the crying."

"You need to try to get some sleep," Dean pointed, wincing at a particularly shrill cry from Nathan.

"I will. I just need a break first," Sam assured his worried brother. He hurried out of the back door and sucked in a deep breath of the cool evening air. Nathan's cries faded as the door closed behind him. His shoulders relaxed as he headed toward the lawn swing Amber had insisted on having beneath a tree in the back of the yard. He fully relaxed for the first time in days. Dean was the one person he could trust completely with his son.

Sam settled back on Amber's swing and pushed slowly with his feet. The rhythm was calm and soothing at first until Sam's thoughts began to wander to his wife. Anger and hurt warred for a place in his gut. She had pledged "until death do us part." Together they had created a child that she had abandoned and even called a monster. The life she had built with Sam obviously didn't mean enough to her; she didn't even try to work things out or fight for it.

Amidst the anger and hurt, a bit of self-loathing began to creep in as well. If only he had told her about his life as a hunter, maybe Amber would have never left. Maybe she would have accepted him as he was and loved their baby, too. Maybe most of this was his fault.

With a roar of anger at himself and Amber, Sam surged to his feet and screamed. He kicked at the awn swing and heaved it end over end across the yard; it wasn't really all that heavy. Picking up a piece that had fallen off, he began swinging it repeatedly against the solid trunk of a nearby tree, screaming as he did so. Sam didn't care that his neighbors were probably hearing him and coming outside to look; he was just so angry and frustrated that nothing else mattered to him. He wanted his son to have a better life than he did, but he'd already managed to screw up Nathan's life. It wasn't fair. Amber wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair. He felt the sweat pouring down his face mixed with tears of anger, but still he kept swinging the piece of the swing against the tree as yells and screams erupted from his lips.

"Sam!" Dean ran across the backyard and threw his arms in a bear hug around his younger brother. "STOP IT, SAM!" he hollered as he worked to hold the struggling Winchester.

Sam wriggled against him briefly, but then all of the fight seemed to drain out of him and he sagged limply toward his brother.

"Hey," Dean soothed as Sam crumpled to the ground. He caught his younger brother and eased him the rest of the way until both of them were seated on the damp grass. "What's wrong, Sam? Why the tantrum?"

Suddenly, Sam's anger returned with a vengeance. He pounded on the ground with screams of anger. "I hate her, Dean! How could she leave him? How could she leave us?"

"Sam," Dean sighed as he kept his hand on his younger brother's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Sam brushed Dean's hand off of him and looked up at his brother in the moonlight, his face streaked with tears. "I hate myself, too! If only I had told her in the beginning," he yelled, slamming his hands against the dirt beneath him.

"Then you wouldn't have Nathan," Dean pointed out calmly. He hated seeing his brother like this. Sam didn't deserve the way Amber had treated him, the way life had treated him. "Come on; let's go inside before your neighbors call the cops. Do you think you can stand up?" Dean pushed up onto his knees and reached for his brother's arm.

Sam was suddenly exhausted and nauseous. He swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. His tantrum had used up the last of his energy reserves. "Nathan?" he suddenly asked Dean in a panic, looking up at his brother through sweaty bangs that clung to his face.

"He's asleep. The monitor's right here." Dean patted the pocket of his jacket. "I heard you start screaming after I put him in his crib."

Sam pushed shakily to his feet as Dean tugged gently on his arm. He leaned sideways to wretch miserably into the grass. Then on legs as wobbly as those of a newborn colt, Sam made his way to the back steps and up into the house. The night air had grown cool and the warmth of the small kitchen felt good.

Dean shoved his brother gently down into one of the chairs at the wooden table. "I'll make you some tea with ginger," he informed him, "and then you are going to talk to me."

Sam tiredly quirked an eyebrow at his brother. "You're asking for a chick flick moment?" he asked in surprise.

Dean shook his head. "Dude, you just went postal on a tree in your backyard. I think I deserve an explanation."

"Amber," Sam sighed. "I'm so tired and I was just sitting there thinking." His voice was growing hoarse from all of the screaming and he cleared his throat, wincing as it burned. "At first, I was so angry at her and blaming everything on her. She ruined my life. She tore our family apart. But then….then I realized that it was my fault, too. Maybe if I'd told her everything from the beginning, this wouldn't have happened." Sam propped his head on his hand and allowed his eyes to slip closed.

Dean plunked a mug of hot tea on the table in front of his brother along with the bottle of Tylenol. "Drink this and take two of these."

Sam blinked blearily, but managed to open the Tylenol and swallow it down with the hot tea.

Dean sat down at the table across from his younger brother. "Look, Sam, I've seen you with Nathan. You love that kid with all your heart. He is your life. If there had been no Amber, there would be no Nathan. Maybe you should have told her more about our lives; I don't know. It might have put her in danger to know too much. You and I both know that, Sam."

The younger Winchester sighed and looked at his brother with tear-dampened eyes. "But my son has to pay for my mistakes."

"He's paying for his mother's choices, Sam," Dean pointed out. "But he's going to be okay. He's got you and me."

Sam swallowed hard. "You practically raised me, Dean. Nathan is lucky to have you."

Dean stood and tugged on Sam's arm. "You aren't doing too badly yourself, kiddo," he informed his baby brother, quickly deflecting the attention and praise from himself. "Now, you need to get some sleep. I'm staying until Nathan pops out this tooth that's causing so much trouble."

"Thanks, Dean," Sam yawned gratefully as his brother helped him up the stairs to his room.

Dean quickly folded back the blankets as Sam dropped limply onto the edge of the bed. He bent to remove Sam's shoes, but his younger brother batted him away.

"You don't need to undress me; I'm not an invalid," Sam snorted.

"Fine," Dean replied. "I'm gonna go check on your kid. You get some sleep."

Sam nodded and reached for the t-shirt and sleep pants that were lying on the end of the bed. "Dean?" he called, just as his brother was about to shut the door.

"Yeah?" Dean asked as he poked his head back into his brother's bedroom.

"Thanks…for everything," Sam told him softly, almost shyly.

Dean nodded and winced as Nathan let out a lusty cry. "Get some sleep. Nathan and I are going to get in some manly bonding time," he informed his little brother.

Sam nodded. He changed into his sleep clothes and curled beneath the blankets. Exhaustion took over and he was soon sleeping soundly, oblivious to the broken sobs of his son. Dean had the baby now; Sam didn't need to worry. Nathan was in good hands.


End file.
